The UK in 2009 – we like war heroes, stealing, and tits
The bizarre wastefest of a site that is Holy Moly has a section in which people can nominate a “hero” and people can then vote as to whether they agree with it or not. As 2008 comes to a close, here are the top 10 making up the country’s zeitgeist:
1. Henry Allingham, Harry Patch and Bill Stone (the last surviving WW1 veterans)
HM readers’ score: 89.3%
Comment from person nominating it: True heroes. The last.
2. Girl behind the counter at Woolworths – 89.1%
I handed over the £80 toy which then scanned as a £3 Mug.
She looked at it, looked at me and said, “Fuck it, what do I care anymore?” Nice one.
3. Gurkhas – 86.9%
It’s about time they won their right to stay in the UK. Unfairly treated as second class citizens, when some of them are currently on their way to Afghanistan to fight on behalf of the UK. We should be justly proud of our UK ninjas.
4. Poland – 80.2%
Send all their sexy although insane women over here, make great bison grass vodka and have now told the EU by saying that there’s fuck all point in signing it as the Irish voted against. Thus upsetting that tit Nicholas Sarkorsky who everyone hates and that includes the French and haven’t met any that like him. Good work carazy polka loving, public drinking chums….
5. Dolly Parton – 79.5%
‘When I talk to a man, I can always tell what he’s thinking by where he is looking. If he is looking at my eyes, he is looking for intelligence. If he is looking at my mouth, he is looking for wisdom. But if he is looking anywhere else except my chest he’s looking for another man.’
6. Harry Hill – 79.5%
For this gem: “Hamburgers – beef does all the work, pork gets all the credit.”
7. Salma Hayek’s bosoms – 79.3%
The gift that keeps on giving.
8. Brooke Kinsella – 79.3%
For quoting, after her brother Ben was stabbed to death in London. ‘Bring back National Service. If evil people want to fight, let them fight for their country’. A truer word never spoken.
9. Roald Dahl – 79.3%
Cos he has to be the most sinister person ever to do good things for kids
10. Individuality – 79.3%
All you young lads out there with your skinny fit, bumster jeans and studded belts, white plimsolls, Elvis Costello specs, Ian McCulloch hair and black military jackets look fantastic. Every single one of you. And I mean ALL of you, the length and breadth of the land. Each and every one of the umpteen thousand that make up your number, standing up and being counted for the individuals that you surely are. Well done and good for you!
Ian McCulloch hair is in now, is it? Bloody hell, you live and learn.
This entry was posted on Monday, December 29th, 2008 at 5:06 pm and is filed under Lists, Web rubbish. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
